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'Is it my fault somebody stunk up the bathroom?'

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Chef Frank Bonanno has maybe heard every complaint in the book. In his blog post this week, Bonanno clarifies that ridiculous complaints really don't bother him. In fact, "please complain," he says. He wants to know if you're unhappy, even if it's because you think the bathroom smells like shit.

"At Green Russell I was confronted by a woman who could not believe her bare feet weren’t allowed on the table. One diner at Bones complained because too much of another’s bum was exposed at the bar. I need to know that someone made the bathroom smell foul. The bar stools are too close together; the bar stools are too far apart. The patio at the Osteria was too sunny in July."

So complain away, but abide by Bonanno guidelines, k? Say you're unhappy when you're unhappy, and maybe consider the food and service above all else. Oh yea, and e-plaints? Screw those, unless they really have merit, of course. "And please, please, for the love of God, " he begs, "when the server inquires after your experience be honest. We’re not mystics."

· Is It My Fault Someone Stunk Up The Bathroom? [Frank Bonanno Blog via Westword]

Frank Bonanno [Photo: Fox News]