Onefold's Mark Nery Bullies Yelpers Right Back

Yelpers come and Yelpers go but the disgruntled kind who Yelp in the one or two star category and choose as subject Uptown's sweet breakfast spot Onefold are in for a spicy surprise. Through the nifty owner comment button, Mark Nery, who opened Onefold with his wife Terese a year ago, let's loose and does not mince words. He is non-apologetic about his replies and strikes right back with the double strength of a ...Yelped restaurant owner.

The latest rant he left on Friday, March 4 may be his most forceful work yet. A frequent Yelper with 3267 reviews on his profile, Michael U. left this lengthy one star review.

Almond Croissant
Congee - savory rice porridge cooked in chicken stock, duck confit , poached egg, green onions, soy sauce, salted ginger and chili oil
Breakfast Tacos - in-house handmade flour tortilla, tender belly bacon, scrambled eggs, crispy hashbrowns, grilled mozzarella cheese, homemade tomatillo salsa

One of Denver's hottest restaurants of 2015, the breakfast and lunch-only space serving a small but interesting menu in the shadow of a sizable local healthcare center, Onefold seemed like a pleasant spot for breakfast on Monday but between the subpar food and subsequent vitriol from the owner it would be hard to fathom a worse overall experience than the one that was offered.

Entering the narrow space early, only one two-top accounted for with another duo to follow, it was exclusively with congee in mind that the counter was approached but catching my eye with an almond croissant it was on the recommendation of pleasant server that the item was warmed to order, the $18 bill paid and a seat obtained as I sat and waited while reviewing E-mail on my computer.

Sparsely decorated and mostly white, flowers adding splashes of color to each table, it was after perhaps five minutes that the laminated pastry was brought forth and with photos taken the initial impression was a favorable one, the top nicely laminated with a good crunch while subsequent bites proved quite the opposite as the bottom was literally plastered with sticky-sweet Frangipane.

Picking slowly at the good bits while one of two cooks ladled rice and accoutrements into a bowl, it was almost immediately on presentation that something seemed awry, the oily orange halo emitting an aroma that itself singed nostrils with the first bite confirming suspicions of overwhelming heat while a second proved more than enough, the bowl and a plate carried to the front with laptop, bag, cup and croissant left behind - the young ladies actually thanking me while explaining I need not bus the table before realizing the large vessel was still full.

Neither requesting nor expecting a refund, the croissant admittedly a disaster while the porridge was arguably a matter of taste, it was at the behest of the cashier that a replacement plate was offered and although several dining plans followed I accepted the generosity, two out of a trio of tacos texturally compelling enough to be enjoyed despite their mild flavor while the other was left behind along with the croissant's sopping-wet layer.

*****Posting photos and a brief summary later via Facebook, something those who know me will realize is common for all my meals out, it was much to the surprise of myself and several others when the Onefold account opted to blow up and tell lies of "throwing" food and "making a scene" publicly, the restaurant's supposed owner going so far as to call me creepy while spewing expletives, eventually posting security camera footage claiming evidence of me eating the whole croissant based on one of two small plates being empty.

Unfathomably unprofessional, poking fun at my writing as well as my true profession in a very public way before backtracking and saying I never actually "threw" food or made a scene - the whole conversation preserved on my wall with parts via PM - it would be an understatement to restate the initial opinion that Onefold is thus far my worst meal of this year, the fallout actually making it far more memorable and perhaps my most hilariously bad dining experience of all time.*****

And there came Mark N. with the response:

Hey mike , sorry tldr; most of it. You can review our restaurant but I can't review your writing? You do write with a prose that reminds me of a high school valedictorian that try's way too hard to sound intelligent. However that's my opinion just like your opinion of our congee. To be fair I would like to review your visit as well, I won't make it as long and boring as yours. Creepy guy walks in, creeps out workers and customers. Asked for wifi password ducked behind computer, other customer walked up complained that you may be watching PORN confronted you and verified told you to turn off, you tell me how important of a food critic you are and write a bad review after you demolished all of the food I gave you. Verified with other restaurant friends of mine how creepy you were on your visits to their establishments and how you requested special treatment because you are a "food critic". Btw you were not watching normal porn, however I am sure the fbi will catch you soon. You creepy pervert.

But this isn't all. Here's a chronological look at some less-than complimentary reviews and Mark's fiery rebuttals. On February 6, Erin L. left her first Yelp review ever, a one star for Onefold, which she updated on February 22.

Food was boring. Never thought something cooked in duck fat could taste so bland. Staff has a big head on their shoulders but nothing to show for it. Bitter coffee with a bitter environment. I think it's time for the owner to get off his high horse. I have also been reading the yelp comments and to see an owner of a business act so childish and unprofessional on a site meant for customers to voice their opinions is shameful. I would not recommend this place to my friends visiting Denver. Denver is known for great, innovative restaurants-- this is not one of them.

And Mark N. came right back to her:

In your boyfriends review you said the coffee was too acidic get your stories straight. But I guess if you said we had an acidic environment it wouldn't make any sense and you wouldn't be able to set up your awesome wordplay. Also the burrito that you split with your yelper boyfriend was vegetarian so it had no duckfat. I guess blatantly lying because we didn't give you guys a free bowl of green chili is okay. Now that I have gotten off my high horse to converse with the peasants it is time to return to it.

P.S not recommending this place to your friends is a purely hypothetical situation. First you will probably need friends then second you will have to be likable enough for them to visit you in Denver. I hope we can survive without your theoretical friends visiting our establishment.

Here's Erin's boyfriend (or so Mark N. says), Mussel Sprou T. with his own two star review (which he has since updated to FIVE STARS!)

This place has a rather pretentious vibe that cannot be supported by the food or service. Coffee must have been a light roast, tasted very acidic, not good. I asked for veggies instead of meat with my smothered burrito, the employee said "we dont really have many veggies." My partner and I ordered the burrito to split because because it was pricey. When a worker brought it to our table I noticed it was not smothered (a 2 or 3 dollar charge) and asked for green chili. She replied by saying it is "like impossible" to smother a burrito that is already cut in half. K... Go to Vert kitchen, still a pretentious cafe, but 1000 times better and worth the $

And Mark N. with the snark:

Umm... Are ingredients are like literally really expensive and stuff and like our margins are totally like lower than other restaurants because we use organic food. Like we are totally not a vegetarian restaurant. Taco Bell definitely has a bomb bean burrito for like 1.29 if you split it with your girlfriend it will only be like 30 cents each or something. They might not smother it for free but if your nice they may give you extra Taco Bell sauce .Thanks for your time now I have to go back to sipping my Chateau Margaux while listening to my baroque music... Ciao

Btw love the MJ pic and super sweet user name

Seventy four year old Jan M. complained about a few things on January 24 and got called names for it:

Two women friends and I had breakfast here. I was disappointed that they did not have decaf coffee or espresso drinks and only one type of decaf tea. One of my friends and I were also concerned that duck fat is used. A wait person did say that they could use olive oil, which we appreciated. Shortly after our visit I received an email asking for feedback. I gave my feedback about these two issues and part of OneFold's response was as follows " if you don't like caffeine then don't fucking drink coffee." A second response included the following, "cursing helps get the point across .... Doing everyone in the service industry a favor by making sure you think twice before coming into another establishment and acting like an asshole." I am a 74-year-old woman with health issues, which is why I had concerns about the coffee and duck fat. I did not act like an asshole.

I simply do not understand why am establishment asks for feedback and then treats the sender of the feedback with such vulgarity and disrespect.

Then came Mark N. picking on grandma:

Thanks for coming in! For the record I had no idea of your sex or age given our exchange was over email. Now I know who you were. Also you took my words out of context. After you drank five cups of coffee then asked for decaf shows me you are not too concerned about caffeine. You were terribly rude to my staff , you actually made one of the girls cry. Given your age I think some duckfat would be really good for you ( I'll let you do your own research on animal fat vs seed / vegetable oils ) also you are old enough to know how to treat people like human beings not like peasants or slaves. I named my restaurant Onefold because it roots to the word simple, hence only drip caffeinated coffee. I have grandparents that are much older than you and they would never resort to using their age as an excuse act like an asshole, asshole.

Lee G. left his one star review sharing his disappointment over the breakfast tacos on January 17.

I would skip the breakfast tacos- overly fried shoestring potatoes in tortilla with a hunk of melted cheese. Yuck

Mark N. almost offered him a job.

Thanks!!! was looking for a new way to describe the tacos on my menu. You ma'am have a way with words, do you offer consulting services ? ;) Read less

Just one more, for good measure: Jenna K. was really displeased with the gluten free selection she sampled in November at the Uptown spot.

I was so disappointed with this place. When I first saw it online, I thought it looked amazing and I will give them credit for using organic food, but it was such a let down. We were there when it was really quiet, only a couple of tables and yet the food took 30 minutes. I saw on their website menu that they offered gluten-free crepes, and then when we were there we were told they can't do them gluten free. Also, everything is cooked in animal grease unless you request it to not be, the problem is my eggs, that were cooked in olive oil still tasted like bacon. The menu is very limited, especially if you are looking for any gluten free or vegetarian food, which is what people expect when a restaurant markets themselves the way Onefold does. Then there is the issue of the coffee, it was terrible. Just horrible. We will never return.

To which, Mark N. shared the famed Yelper South Park clip after these words:

Lol... Our whole menu is gluten free except for the burrito / crepes. if you want garbage cooked in cheap vegetable / corn oil go else where we use duck fat and that won't change. We don't market ourselves as vegetarian as we cook everything in duck fat (clearly stated on website and menu) A little reading goes pretty far, glad you will not be returning. Also sir we cook all of our eggs in a separate pan so there is a zero percent chance that you got bacon grease on your eggs as they were cooked on olive oil. You probably just smelled our delicious bacon while you were eating them. Btw Starbucks is right up the street and probably has more palatable coffee for you , since you like trashing local roasters in all your worthless Yelp reviews.

For your enjoyment, said Mark:

4 an